Apology to self, forgiveness of self — the importance of this — for the Mother Energy to rise in everyone, that remembrance of no judgement in the higher realms, truly helps create peace for Earth at this time; it begins individually.
In past lives we have all been involved in actions where we abused power; there is not one of us who is exempt (hence to be non-judgement of everyone’s behaviour) but at the same time to take core responsibility for our part, the apology/forgiveness work, so it stops, so it doesn’t continue.
rectification | ˌrektəfəˈkāSH(ə)n |noun
1 the action of putting something right; correction
The Divine Mother to me, April 25th, 2015:
“A proper apology from the heart is a request for forgiveness.
“In the person receiving the apology, it is not only the transmutation and the rectification of an injury, it is an expansion of the receiver to then from a higher realm grant forgiveness & feel compassion.”
Here’s a breakdown of the work, from years of studies, the fastest, most efficient way I’ve found to release karma, to be in our heart consciousness, ‘out of the monkey mind’:
apology to self/others
“I’m so sorry for . . . to . . . “
forgiveness of self
“I Am Forgiveness of My Self/Others . . . “
deep non-judgement/compassion from the root, all lifetimes, abuse of power
“I Am So Sorry to the Universe. I Am Compassion.”
“I Am So Sorry to Whomever I Have Harmed. I Am Compassion.”
acknowledgement and acceptance of the past
“I acknowledge and accept . . . “
“I Am Acknowledgement and Acceptance of . . . “
gratitude for the courage it takes to do the work
“I Am Gratitude to My Self for the courage it takes to do this work”
(or whatever other form of gratitude you find for yourself.)
You, me, our families, came here
to help humanity evolve.
****
December 2023, my daughter is recommending trauma therapy for me. I’ve never heard of this and am resistant. I’ve never had a proper therapy session in my life but I’m getting the sense that the higher realms has something to do with my daughter’s urging.
Friday, December 15th, I’m at my place of work where I give card readings, and first client of the day is Yasaman asking about personal issues. Turns out she is the owner of Expressions Counseling and their area of expertise: trauma, incest, anxiety, depression.
Yasaman explains the rapid-eye technique that is used by her and her counselors.
Colin, the manager where I work, said that technique was used with him when he witnessed his mother’s boyfriend’s suicide. He wasn’t allowed back to school until he was treated. He said he didn’t understand it at the time but that he can see that it has worked, from his perspective at 28 now.
Later that day, I fill out Expressions’ online website form for a 20 minute free consultation, and also, emailed for an appointment. Sessions are $178.50 CAN an hour (including taxes). If you are in America, here is a link to find an EMDR counselor close to you.
****
I had my 20 min session today with Expressions. Trauma therapy focuses on healing the Inner Child, validation/love.
Yasaman says with the amount of work I’ve done on myself I should be able to do her 12 weeks of protocols in 3, which is perfect because I received $600 from my mum for Xmas — probably what it was meant for 🙂
We will be meeting on Zoom, headphones recommended, my first appointment January 10th, 2024.
****
Healing EMDR Session #1
This session we chatted about my life, what I have been through.
There is tapping, sound or rapid eye movement healing techniques. One is chosen and it turns out I work the best with sound, ocean waves.
In conversation, I was taken into 2 deep traumas (Yasaman could see/feel the amount of work I’ve done and said we only need to focus on the 2).
Yasaman asked me to rate the old perspective 1-7 or 1-10:
standing back like a movie, 1-10
or through the thoughts/feelings/eyes of the inner child, 1-7.
She says I easily dissociate, go into “the movie” — hence, the standing back, to watch — people holding trauma tend do this.
My inner child is carrying old sorrow/grief and I have squashed her into my stomach area.
My spiritual side has taken over, and figured things out mentally/emotionally, but my inner child needs help letting go.
All this makes sense to me; deep sorrow came to the surface, I could feel it behind my eyes.
I have cried buckets of tears in this life, thought that was done, a little more to go . . .
****
Part of an Email to a Family Member
When your adult self takes proper responsibility for action taken, and gives a proper apology I can receive it as an adult, but more importantly my inner child can take that apology and heal, too.
As the Divine Mother says, with your apology I can from a higher realm grant forgiveness and be compassion.
The apology work is purely to help us heal . . . therefore the future family . . . therefore the big picture . . .
It is time for change, for peace on Planet Earth.
I thank you for your courage to be incarnated with the possibility to do it right.
I have all the confidence in the world in you.
****
Healing EMDR Session #2
Yasaman used the sound of the waves (Maré, the Mother Energy) for me to go in and out of what I have experienced.
She asked me to rate the experiences using the number scales.
I saw/felt my life from before birth to November 2011, when I had my first reading with Archangel Michael.
We go through my life in flashes of soundbites from the perspective of my inner child.
Yasaman says it’s unusual that I’m working so fast, but I’ve spent years in meditation forgiving myself, being compassion and gratitude for all my experiences.
Some of them I’m seeing a new perspective, like how I was trying to heal myself (I didn’t understand what I was doing at the time) making colourful clothes (colour heals) in sewing, and writing a coded monologue about my life and acting it out in drama class, sending it into a writing contest.
I leave the session feeling excited, that deep healing is not impossible.
****
Healing EMDR Session #3
My sessions are on Wednesdays and since Monday in this week, I’ve been feeling nauseous, like I could throw up – but not . . .
This coming in waves . . . and I had my daughter visiting from Sunday to Wednesday.
My daughter has quite a few appointments booked, and I am to babysit my granddaughter, Amelia.
Amelia is super patient with me. I have no energy, our walks are super slow.
One 2 hour appointment my daughter had, I take Amelia to a coffee shop and sip camomile tea for an hour while she runs back and forth along the wooden wall benches. I had to sit, couldn’t move, must of had help from the Other Side with Amelia.
In the therapy session, when we reached a certain point, the nausea completely disappeared and hasn’t been with me since.
Was I clearing something out for me, for the big picture?
The shame and guilt for our family, old systems that go back generations, maybe of being ‘a people-pleaser’ not wanting to offend, the feminine self not able to stand up, not able to speak so people hear? This work does not feel easy.
The sound of the waves takes me on a ride deep into the feelings, the trauma, and I see pictures.
Eventually, I got to seeing that everything was planned for ‘the most beautiful place on Earth’ – the Lake. I saw angels surrounding us, that we came wanting to clear out this old energy, by facing into it fearlessly — experiencing it and then fearlessly stating what happened to set us free, no judgement of it — but we don’t get that freedom feeling without doing the work of what we are ashamed of.
We have to step up into the knowing of the Mother/Father One’s Forgiveness of Everything with our own apologies, forgiveness and compassion. We are here to embody Heaven on Earth. The Mother/Father One see everything.
I saw how this work can choose us to clear out and balance our past lives so our present life balances, comes into Divine Alignment with our Divine Service, our sacred purpose.
The work can feel excruciating, like my 3 days of nausea, but now, it is total freedom and I have started respecting myself so much, that 3 times just since this last session, I have stood up for myself where I had no boundaries (and couldn’t even see it, being ‘the people-pleaser’).
Also, I finally see the Divine Mother with me when I’m a baby. I had never been able to see Her/feel Her before, no matter how many meditations I did, and there She was, right there with me, amazing.
In the sound, I saw Amelia and I cuddling, when my daughter was out at one of her appointments, how Amelia is a big part of the healing, a force for healing.
The therapist was pleased with our progress. Another appointment next week.
May we all get to this state of no shame, guilt, anxiety about the past, fearlessly facing into it, doing this work for the future generations.
****
Healing EMDR Session #4
I had my 4th session today.
Yasaman says she’s never had a client, with as much trauma as I have, done in 3 and a half sessions.
She says normally it would take 6 mos to a year for all my experiences.
Jesus,through Pamela Kribbe, What is True Spirituality? gave us information that corroborates the inner child connection for healing:
I really studied his words and found I easily got to my inner child standing back, being the calm witness to all the pain/trauma that happened over the years — integrated/embraced — during the sound healing segments.
I Am of Source Energy
so why wouldn’t that be the case?
Everyone is from Source.
We are all part of Source.
Everyone can be this.
There is no sorrow/shame, anger/fear, bigotry, hatred, limitation, control/guilt at Source so when we embrace/Love the pain/trauma it automatically disappears and the inner child is free to be childlike, as is natural – mental/emotional bodies in balance.
I’m working with a masseuse now to clear out the physical effects in my body, this life, past lives. I have multiple fractured ribs, trauma in my neck and back, old wounds . . . He was able to see back to the time of Jesus and even brought up who I was without me saying a word – war, horses, chaos – I saw images I hadn’t seen before as he was doing his work on me, lifetimes.
All experiences are an opportunity to do the work.
Now, I will integrate/embrace this stage.
****
I’m very appreciative how my circle on the Other Side watches over and times my healing.
I know we have to ask but the co-ordination of all the moving parts is something to behold, from the practitioners to the outpouring of money to pay for services.
The Divine Mother’s Wisdom of apologies, forgiveness and compassion is priceless; I’m really glad I got to experience that for family healing to a certain extent.
Is there room for deeper work there? Absolutely. When everyone is fully seeing and not judging themselves, the work is complete.
There is no judgement in the higher realms; we are anchoring that here for the future generations, with our accountability, for it to take hold.
May the work continue . . . to the creation of peace on Earth . . . one at a time . . .
